The Big House [PG] (Helo, Starbuck)

Title: The Big House
Rated: PG
Spoilers: Miniseries
Summary: Small, missing scene from the miniseries
Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. Ron Moore won't answer my emails, dammit!

It's ridiculous how utterly relaxed and calm Kara Thrace looks behind bars. Feet kicked up, legs crossed at the ankles, hands tucked nonchalantly behind her head. Like it's her second home and Helo wonders how many stays in the brig this makes for her. He stopped counting after five.

"Hey, jailbird. Remember me?" Helo thumps his chest. "Karl. Karl Agathon. I know it's been a long time and they say prison hardens people, makes them forget those on the outside-"

"Shut up, Helo." Starbuck cuts his greeting off without moving a muscle.

Helo waggles a finger at her. "Now, that's no way to talk to a visitor. They feeding you all right in here? Letting you take needed bathroom breaks? Covering their eyes when you change?"

Starbuck turns onto her side, rests her head in her hand. "You enjoying this, Raptor Boy?"

Helo lets the insult roll off him. He steps up to the bars, slides his hands through and leans against the cool metal. "Matter of fact I am, Viper Girl. Not everyday I'm witness to someone decking the XO."

"He deserved it."

"Can't you two just kiss and make up?"

Starbuck rolls her eyes dramatically. "Frak you."

Helo's face lights up in delight. "Maybe some day. I don't think you could handle me just yet, Starbuck." He wiggles his eyebrows in mock seduction.

"Oh, guard, hand me a bucket because I think I might puke." To prove her point, Starbuck holds her stomach gingerly and makes loud, long gagging sounds.

"That's cruel." Helo massages the spot over his heart. "You wound a man's ego and it takes a long time to heal."

"This is me not being sorry." Starbuck resumes her supine position on the cot.

Helo spares a glance behind him. The two guards look bored and uninterested. Brig duty is only second to actually being in the brig on the 'places Helo doesn't want to be' list.

"Met the new pilot?" Helo asks for lack of better conversation.

She shrugs, cocks her legs until one knee is bent and tapping aimlessly against the wall beside her. "Adama? Met him before."

"Ex-boyfriend?"

"Frak you."

"Touchy," Helo says. "Not your boyfriend then. So…illicit affair? Sneaking quick and dirty sex in dark corridors or the armory?"

"Didn't know you took such an active interest in my sex life, Helo." Starbuck unfolds herself from the bed and walks toward the bars that Helo's leaning up against. She brackets his arms with hers, presses her forehead against the metal.

"Thought you had a thing for pretty boy's?"

"Never said he was pretty." Starbuck smirks at him. "You did."

"Did not."

Starbuck leans in conspiratorially. "It's okay," she whispers. "If you like boys, it's not my place to judge. Your secret's safe with me."

"You're such an ass."

Starbuck smiles, nods. "I know."

Helo reaches into a pocket and digs out a lollipop. Unwraps the candy and sticks the paper label back into his pocket before popping the lollipop into his mouth.

When he turns his attention back to Starbuck, her face is a mixture of amusement and confusion.

"What?"

Starbuck points at the white stick in his mouth. "Surprised those things haven't rotted your teeth."

Helo smiles around his lollipop. "I have a good dentist." He pulls out another lollipop and offers it across to Starbuck. "To keep you company during these long, trying times in the brig."

Starbuck takes the offering and tosses it onto the cot. "For later." Drops her voice low and quiet. "For when I get really lonely."

Helo winces. "Thanks for that. I'm gonna have that mental image in my head the rest of the damn day."

Starbuck smiles and pats him lightly on the cheek. "You're welcome. Where'd you get all these lollipops anyway? Last time I checked, the cook doesn't keep them in stock."

"You're right, the cook doesn't." Helo lifts his hand and whispers softly behind it. "I have a good mother. She sends me a box full every month or so."

"Awww, isn't that cute?" Starbuck pinches Helo's cheeks before he can bat her hands away. "A mama's boy."

Helo takes the lollipop out of his mouth and smiles. His lips are a dull red, teeth an even lighter shade. "You have fun in jail now. Write me every once in a while so I know you're all right." Helo brushes a hand over her cap of blonde hair. "Maybe I'll bake you a cake with a gun in it. Help you break outta here."

Starbuck pushes him away from the cell. "Go away, Raptor Boy. Let me relax." She returns to a sitting position on the cot and makes short work of the lollipop's wrapper before sticking it in her mouth.

"I'll tell the pretty boy you said hello," Helo says on his way out.

"And I'll tell him about that hot sex you wanna have with him," she calls out. The brig guards both stifle laughs and Helo curses at her.

"I hate you," he says without heat.

Starbuck shrugs, sucks on the lollipop. "Join the club."

the end